Goldilocks was found dead on Friday, September 7th, 2007. Cause of death is believed to have been due to asphyxiation. She was found dead at the residence of friends where she had been a tenant since March of 2003. The owners, a family of three bears, found her lying motionless upon their return home after reportedly returning from a long hibernation. Goldilocks was found with partially chewed mortgage, credit card and home equity loan applications lodged in her throat. Results of an autopsy reveal that Goldilocks may have been living off of such high enough levels of debt that had she not choked on it, the levels of toxicity built-up in her bloodstream would have likely resulted in sudden death within days. She is survived by her close dear relatives, Larry Kudlow, Jim Cramer, Hank Paulson, John Chambers, Bob Pisani, Arthur Laffer and actor, Ben Stein.
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